Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Response to comment posted re my June 12 posting on chosson and kallah classes

If you look at the 6/12/09 posting, you'll see a comment I just published from "anonymous" railing against the lack of God in this discussion.

Some comments in response to his/her remarks:

First of all, I LOVE that some people are getting so upset by what I'm writing.

Second, this writer is clearly very angry. S/he makes some good points about halacha and what God does or doesn't owe me. I don't disagree with anything s/he says. However, I can tell you all - with 100% certainty - that chosson and kallah classes are being taught incorrectly. The one specific point s/he argues is that oral sex on a woman is allowed. I'm not arguing that it's not. I'm saying that it's being TAUGHT that act is not allowed.

That is the entire point of this blog: to bring to light and discuss the sexual issues facing the orthodox community. It's not about what halacha in fact says or doesn't say. It's about how to make marriages work so people don't feel like they have to resort to dating sites, etc. (As an aside, I think most rabbis are fairly ignorant about halacha. Anyone at all can assur something.)

One final point. The anonymous poster calls me a "dude." Who says I'm a man?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

It's been way too long since my last post; I'm sorry for that. As it turns out, I've become very busy with other things. No excuse, but it is what it is.

The gap in posting makes me think of yet another issue that strikes at the heart of Jewish married sex: what to do during niddah. Although I've never done any real research on the topic, if I had to guess, I'd say most frum couples have a problem with no sex for two weeks. Because, what that means is that for two weeks he's not cumming - assuming he's not masturbating. I assume most women can handle the break...

My relationship has lots of masturbation in it. We talk about it, observe one another while doing it. We both know it's incredibly helpful.

I'm curious: what do you do during niddah? How do you observe it and for how long?